The Principle of the Path

I'm listening to Andy Stanley's most recent book, The Principle of the Path... and it's turning out to be a rather great "read". Andy is one of those guys that seems to have figured out how to get from here to there, so I figured I’d read his book about how to get from where I am to where I want to be.  

The key idea of the book is that "Direction - not intention - determines your destination."  It's a useful concept... especially because many of us (myself included) often convince ourselves that good intentions are enough.  Ah, many roads ARE paved with good intentions... but many don't lead where we want to be going, frankly.

Here are some of the highlights from my book:

• “To get from where we don’t want to be to where we do want to be requires two things: time and a change of direction.”
• “Direction–not intentions, hopes, dreams, prayers, beliefs, intellect, or education–determines destination.”
• “We should break the habit of drawing a circle around individual decisions and events and dismissing them as isolated occurrences. These are steps. Steps that lead somewhere.”
• “Prudent people look as far down the road as possible when making decisions.”
• “Christians start talking about forgiveness as if somehow forgiveness serves as an escape hatch from the outcome of bad decisions.”
• “When happiness points in one direction while wisdom, truth, integrity, and common sense point in another, that’s when really smart people start doing really stupid things.”
• “Your heart can’t be trusted… The truth is, if you let it, your heart will direct you down a path that leads to the very spot you most want to avoid.”
• “The choices are now. The outcomes are later. The decisions you make today have ramifications down the road.”
• “One never accomplishes the will of God by breaking the law of God, violating the principles of God, or ignoring the wisdom of God.”
• “I am constantly amazed at how resistant folks are to take their cues from people who are where they want to be.”
• “We don’t drift in good directions. We discipline and prioritize ourselves there.”

Simple principles in this book, but their implications have an enormous impact on the outcomes of our lives.  I encourage you to pick up the book or download it from Audible.com like we did. 

I’m leaving lots of great quotes and stories out of this post. It has got me thinking about a lot of excellent applications and course corrections for my own life... as well as how I can best "help" those who are experiencing the end results of the directions in life they have chosen.  ~Brady

Not Guilty. Not Innocent.

Cleared of murdering her young daughter Caylee, Casey Anthony, 25, was instead found guilty of just four counts of lying to law enforcement and could be released from jail as early as Thursday. The jaw-dropping verdict stunned many who had been following the case and were horrified to hear that Casey's little daughter had been buried in a swamp... and that Casey had not reported her disappearance to police, but that instead the single mom went out shopping and drinking and partying for 31 days as if she had not a care in the world.

Casey Anthony juror Jennifer Ford said that she and the other jurors cried and were "sick to our stomachs" after voting to acquit Casey Anthony of charges that she killed her 2-year-old daughter Caylee.

"I did not say she was innocent," said Ford, who had previously only been identified as juror No. 3. "I just said there was not enough evidence. If you cannot prove what the crime was, you cannot determine what the punishment should be…"

"Everyone wonders why we didn't speak to the media right away," Ford said. "It was because we were sick to our stomach to get that verdict. We were crying, and not just the women. It was emotional and we weren't ready. We wanted to do it with integrity and not contribute to the sensationalism of the trial."   (ABCnews.com)

The verdict, while hailed by some as a triumph of law, has been decried by others as a travesty of justice.  In truth, we may never really know whether or not little Caylee died by accident or at the hand of her mother.  It was either a horrific accident... or a horrific murder. 

Sadly, God's Word tells us that we can and should expect more and more of such terrible things as the history of humankind comes to its close.  St. John's Revelation describes even more shocking events -- especially crimes and brutality against God's chosen people -- in the closing months and days of the world. Thankfully, our study of the book of Revelation also gives us a glimpse of the Lamb of God, who suffered greatly... and now reigns in victory over all.  

The suffering and injustice Jesus endured was not the end of His story... or ours.  True, like Caylee we may not experience much justice in this world... nor should we expect it.  Our own Lord and Savior was abused and mistreated by sinful men, yet as a lamb going to the slaughter, He did not open His mouth.  In meekness, Jesus endured shame, suffering, and the cross for those loved Him... AND for those who mocked, shamed, and crucified Him.

As His followers, marked by His name, we should expect little different. But even when injustice seems all around us, and unfair verdicts are handed down by the courts of human opinion, we take great comfort that the final victory has already been won by our crucified, risen, and ascended Lord Jesus Christ... and shared with us.  

In His wounds, we find pardon for our crimes.

In His reign, we discover peace amidst the chaos.

And in His time, perfect justice will be done.  

Why Great Men Fall

Lately, Rep. Anthony Weiner has been all over the news.  Late-night comedians have been mocking his actions... and, obviously, his name.  His wife and family must endure endless questions from the media.  And, as more and more in his party demand his resignation, his future looks bleak.  

Of course, he is not alone.  More and more men -- especially those in high-profile positions -- are being caught in scandal.  No wonder St. Paul writes to ALL men, "Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall." (1 Cor. 10:12 NASB)

Christian counselor and author Wayne Goodall has some Father's Day thoughtful warnings for men who wish to protect themselves and those they love from Rep. Weiner's fate.  

For more than three decades, I have had the privilege of working with leaders. Watching talented people succeed because of hard work, great ideas, and wise choices is a thrill. Watching them go too far, risk too much, and make choices that compromise their career and family is shocking and very sad. A thousand times I have thought: Why did he decide to have that affair?

Many who ask “Why?” fear that the same thing could happen to them. They should be concerned – because it could. All of us are vulnerable. We have feet of clay and successful people have fallen since the beginning of mankind. Adam did. Cain did. Abraham lied. His son Isaac did the same. At all levels, among all genders, ages, cultures, occupations, and positions, people have made decisions that cost them too much.

Some ask “Why?” because they fear for their organization, university, company, or church. When a leader falls, it is expensive. It can take months, years, and possibly decades to rebuild confidence and trust. Productivity and fruitfulness are lost.

There are reasons people make bad choices, and it doesn’t happen overnight. There is an evolution – one thought, decision, or move at a time. They decided to go to the wrong place, ask the wrong question, look at illegal or immoral materials, or have a conversation with someone they knew was compromising. The behavior began somewhere. When their lives are analyzed, there are hints, oversights, and road bumps. The thought process had been going on, but the decision wasn’t made until the opportunity presented itself.

I don’t believe this kind of life-altering failure just hits like a brick on some particular day. There is a process – sometimes it can be short-lived – sometimes it works on a person for years.

Some men who have begun walking on the precipice of compromise call it a perk of their position and believe that they have rights that others do not have. Their thought may be, "I’ve earned this, and I deserve it because of who I am."

Some actually have the ability to do something morally wrong and then walk into another room and conduct business in a professional way. For instance, a minister I once talked with met ladies in the bar of whatever hotel he was staying in (the hotel that was near the church he was speaking in on Sunday). He would lie about his career, get her to his room, and do his thing. Then, somehow, he would isolate that behavior in a “mental room” and go to sleep, wake up in the morning, and preach about righteousness. That doesn’t make sense to most of us, but some have become really good at compartmentalization.

Executives, CEOs, CFOs, politicians, pastors, priests, etc. can all begin to rationalize. Regardless of how long it took before they were caught or why they thought they could do it – the end result was the same. Incredible loss – shock to those who admire them – distrust in the organization – hundreds leave the church. Many of us put the newspaper down and ask ourselves, “Are there any leaders out there that we can trust?”

There are and you can be one of them.

Over the years, I have observed at least 14 different characteristics that seem to be the tipping points for these leaders in their decision to do wrong. All of us have these basic tendencies; however some develop them to a point where they go over the edge.

Ask yourself these questions as you build a protective fence around your life:

• Do I feel a sense of entitlement? – “I deserve this because of who I am or what I do.”
• Am I a gifted entrepreneur, but my life is out of balance?
• Do I have the ability to compartmentalize my moral choices? Can I do something wrong and then mentally put it aside while I do something right?
• Do I expect my employees and peers to keep quiet when I do questionable things?
• Am I a “high risk” man who loves the adrenaline rush of danger or compromise?
• Am I a magnet for women? Do they love my power, money, influence, and personality?
• Is my integrity in check?
• Am I surrounded with “yes men” with very little accountability?
• Do I compromise my conscience?
• Who is my mentor? Who am I a mentor to?
• Do I play by my own rules? Do I have an ethical code?
• Do I handle stress in a healthy way?
• What do I do with my money? Integrity includes both my physical and my financial self.
• Are my moods under control?
• Have I found a balance with money, sex, and power?

Remember that men who are stronger than you and me have made very bad decisions. Men who are weaker have made good decisions. The gift of choice can be the greatest blessing you have, and it can be the choice that severely damages you.

But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful.

When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it. 

(1 Cor. 10:13 NLT)

This article was adapted from Wayde Goodall’s book Why Great Men Fall.

Strength for Today

"God is our refuge and our strength..."
Psalm 46:1

Modern Concubines

Alan Wisdom has a brilliant article in Salvo, bringing back a word we need again and showing how different “just living together” and marriage really are:

In ancient times, there was an option for a man who desired a regular sex partner but did not wish to marry her. He could take a low-status woman as a concubine. He could enjoy her company as long as it pleased him, and he could dismiss her at any time. The man made no promises and signed no contract; consequently, the concubine had few legal protections. Any children that she bore would have an inferior legal status.

The early Church fought long and hard against concubinage. It insisted that such a sexual relationship, without the permanent and total commitment expressed in marriage vows, was immoral and unjust. Over the course of a thousand years, concubinage retreated into the shadows of social disapproval.

In the past 40 years, it seems, concubinage has come to light again under a different name. Like ancient concubinage, contemporary cohabitation is a deliberately ambiguous relationship. The partners make no promises and have no legal obligations to one another. The arrangement has no specified duration and can be terminated at a moment’s notice. Those who cohabit tend to be of lower social status. Their children, on average, do not fare as well as children born to married couples.

Defenders of cohabitation portray it as just a more flexible form of marriage. The love is the same as in marriage, they say; all that is missing is “a piece of paper,” the marriage certificate. Some see cohabitation as a “trial marriage.” They assume that living together will confirm a couple’s compatibility and reduce the odds that a subsequent marriage might end in divorce.

Social science does not support any of these assertions. By every measure, cohabitation is a very different relationship from marriage. Marriages are formed by a series of decisive, publicly announced events: A proposal is made, it is accepted, an engagement is announced, friends and family gather for a wedding, vows and rings are exchanged, and two formerly single persons are declared to be married. By contrast, many couples quietly drift into cohabitation. They gradually spend more time together, one moves his or her possessions piece by piece into the other’s residence, one allows his or her lease to expire, and eventually they realize that they are living together full-time.

The two relationships differ dramatically in durability. The average marriage lasts several decades; the average cohabitation, only 15 months. Because their time horizons are longer, married people are much more likely to invest in one another. Husbands and wives almost always pool their assets. They have a single household budget that does not separate “his” and “her” money. They take responsibility for each other’s debts and inherit each other’s estates.

via Salvo Magazine: Cohabitation: Marriage Lite or the New Concubinage? – Salvo 15.

I invite you to read the rest of it.  Most of us -- to be kind and gracious to those who have chosen to "live together" -- don't speak out about these  dramatic differences between concubinage & marriage.   But I promise you... many, many now-single moms and abandoned children are wishing we would.  Life today is already hard enough without this added challenge for those "swimming upstream."  

• What experiences have you had with those who "live together" in your family or circle of friends?  
• What do you wish Christ's Church was doing differently to serve them better? 

Disaster Relief for the Midwest

As you know, significant disasters have ravaged Oklahoma, Texas, Missouri, and the Mississippi River region this past week. 

For example, news from Joplin indicates that Immanuel Lutheran School is structurally unsafe to enter, four teachers lost their homes, the parsonage lost its roof and has structural damage, and a few members lost their homes.  

A couple views their home after the Joplin tornado.
 Image courtesy of Time magazine.

The church through the ages has given generously to assist brothers and sisters in need. If the Spirit moves you, please click on this link to donate. One hundred percent (100%) of the moneys donated will be forwarded to the LC-MS Lutheran Churches in the area to use where most needed.  

            http://www.regonline.com/relief

Interestingly enough, God through His Word seems to intentionally bless those who give in wise, intentional ways to the needy.

Proverbs 11:24-25 
One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Shooting Our Wounded

Some have said that "only Christians shoot their wounded.”   Having wounded and been wounded by my brothers and sisters in the faith, I admit that this is true too often. 


This video reveals a large and growing segment of America today... those who have been wounded by the Church, and who have not returned.  

Interestingly enough, St. John devotes some of the last two chapters of his Gospel to accounts of our Risen Lord Jesus going out of His way to restore and reclaim the wounded and wandering of His Church.  


First, Jesus takes time to encourage Thomas, reclaiming Him from doubt and isolation to belief and bold service.  After seeing His Risen Lord, Thomas traveled perhaps farther than any other disciple to share the Good News; the many Indian Christians now in south and central India trace their origins to the faithful work of "doubting" Thomas.


Next, Jesus sought out Peter again by the Sea of Galilee.  Though this was at least the fourth time Peter has seen His Risen Lord, this time Jesus takes special effort to undo Peter's triple denial.  Not only does Jesus reinstate and restore Peter, but Jesus again invites Peter to life in Him with the words Jesus used the first time they met... "follow me!"  

If Thomas and Peter had been in the Church today, they would have likely been shunned by modern-day believers for their denials, betrayals, and failures.  But they are not abandoned by Jesus.


Perhaps God is inviting us all back to the time of the early church, to leave behind our judgments and follow boldly where Jesus leads. He did not abandon us.  Now it is time for us to seek out and "restore gently" those who have fallen, instead of abandoning them.   


As the Army Rangers say, "I will never leave a fallen comrade behind to fall into the hands of the enemy."  


Amen.  Yes, yes... let this be so.